There’s a pattern I’ve seen again and again in my business. Maybe you’ve seen it too.
A team member is a strong performer—full of initiative, asking great questions, thinking ahead, and owning their work. They’re not just doing tasks; they’re connecting dots, spotting inefficiencies, and solving problems before they even hit my radar. They are problem solving rather than asking for more training.
And then, something shifts.
Suddenly, they’re just doing what’s in front of them. No more big-picture thinking, no more proactive problem-solving—just checking off boxes. Instead of asking, “What’s next?” they wait to be told. It’s as if the spark that made them great has flickered out.
As a business owner, this is frustrating. I start wondering, What happened? Did I misjudge their ability? Were they never really that capable to begin with? Are they just not a fit?
But I’ve seen this enough times now to recognize what’s actually going on. They didn’t suddenly become less capable—they’re overwhelmed. They’re in survival mode. And when that happens, capacity shrinks—not ability, but capacity.
So the question is: how do you, as a leader, handle this? How do you balance holding space for what they’re going through while still holding them to a standard that keeps the business running?
Let’s talk about it.
What Overwhelm Looks Like from the Inside
If you’re the business owner, you see the symptoms—lost initiative, a dip in performance, and a shift from proactive to reactive work.
But what’s happening inside their head?
“I just need to push through.”
“If I can just get through today, maybe I’ll be okay.”
“I can’t think about the big picture right now—I just need to survive.”
“I used to be good at this. What’s wrong with me?”
When a team member hits survival mode, their thinking narrows. Their brain literally stops processing complexity—the cognitive load is too high. The part of them that was stepping back, analyzing, and problem-solving is now just trying to get through the day without breaking.
They’re exhausted. They’re overwhelmed. And ironically, because they can’t think as clearly, they start believing they’re the problem. They start losing confidence in themselves.
Which leads to another lie:
“I should be able to handle this.”
They don’t ask for help, because they think they should be able to figure it out. They stop communicating, stop thinking ahead, and just try to keep their head above water.
The other path is that they look for outside reasons for what they are not measuring up. This is often communicated as “If only I had better training”. If only __________ told me exactly what to do then I would.
That’s the thing with overhwlem, you only have the capacity to do what is in front of you. The brain is in survival mode. Where the team member might have investigated and asked questions before, they now need to be told exactly what to do.
The Science Behind Survival Mode
This isn’t just about mindset—it’s about biology. When stress levels rise, the brain shifts into cognitive overload:
- Cognitive Load Theory: When we take in too much at once, our working memory shuts down. Instead of thinking critically, we default to autopilot.
- Decision Fatigue: The more decisions someone makes under stress, the harder it becomes to make good ones. Eventually, they stop trying.
This means that when your team member is overwhelmed, their brain is literally working against them—they’re not choosing to check out; their system is forcing them to conserve energy because they’re maxed out.
And if you, as a business owner, don’t step in to shift things, they’ll either burn out, disengage, or quietly quit.
The Business Owner’s Role: Hold Space, Hold Standards
So what do you do when you recognize this pattern in your team? You need to strike a balance between support and accountability. Too much empathy without action creates dead weight. Too much pressure without understanding creates burnout.
Here’s the framework I use:
1. Recognize the Signs
- They stop asking big-picture questions.
- They only do what’s in front of them—no initiative.
- Their energy feels different—disengaged, avoidant, or scattered.
- They start making small, careless mistakes.
2. Acknowledge Without Enabling
Instead of assuming they’re slacking, have a direct but supportive conversation:
“Hey, I’ve noticed you’re not thinking ahead like you used to. You’re great at this, so I want to check in—is something making it harder for you to engage at that level right now?”
This does two things:
- It removes blame (so they don’t get defensive).
- It opens the door for them to admit they’re struggling.
3. Adjust Expectations (Temporarily, Not Permanently)
- Reduce their cognitive load by helping them prioritize.
- Shift their focus to stabilization, not expansion.
- Make it clear: this is a phase, not a new normal.
“I don’t expect you to push yourself beyond capacity. Let’s focus on what’s most important right now. But I also want us to have a plan to get back to where you were.”
4. Reignite Ownership
- Set a checkpoint for when you’ll reassess.
- Give them a small win—something they can fully own and feel confident in.
- Reinforce that their ability isn’t in question—this is about getting them back to full capacity.
The Team Member’s Role: Refill, Reframe, Reengage
As a team member, if you’re reading this and you see yourself in it, here’s what you can do:
1. Refill the Cup
- Identify what’s draining you—personal stress, workload, lack of clarity?
- Recognize that pushing harder won’t fix it.
- Give yourself permission to stabilize before you try to grow.
2. Reframe the Pressure
- Ask yourself: Am I telling myself I need to do everything, or just what actually matters?
- Shift from “I have to fix everything” to “I need to focus on the right things.”
- Talk to your leader—let them help you prioritize.
3. Reengage with Intention
- Once you feel stable, start looking ahead again.
- Bring back curiosity—start asking questions again.
- Take ownership of one thing at a time.
Closing Thoughts: The Art of Sustainable Growth
The key to long-term success isn’t just about working harder—it’s about knowing when to recalibrate.
If you’re a business owner, ask yourself: Do I have a team member in survival mode right now? If so, don’t wait for them to fix it alone—help them adjust and regain their capacity.
If you’re a team member, reflect: Am I in survival mode? If so, what’s the smallest step you can take today to shift out of it?
Growth doesn’t happen when you’re running on fumes. It happens when you have the space to think, plan, and expand.
And that’s something we all need to prioritize—business owners and team members alike.